


I’m not homophobic (I just prefer not seeing him kissing guys)

by destielbooty



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Bisexual Dean, Castiel/Dean Winchester First Kiss, Dean is just confused, Gay Castiel, Human Castiel, Jealous Dean, John Winchester is not a dick, M/M, Misunderstandings, Roommates, there are NOT homophobic comments in here
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-01
Updated: 2017-01-01
Packaged: 2018-09-14 00:03:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,730
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9148060
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/destielbooty/pseuds/destielbooty
Summary: Dean never thought he would have a problem with gay guys until he gets a gay roommate whom he hates to see kissing boys.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This was based on the photo at the beginning.

 

First day of university was ecstatic. Dean had been so tired when he had arrived to his dorm that he had barely looked at his roommate. “Hey, man,” he had mumbled when he saw he was already there when he arrived at 10pm.

He already knew that his name was Castiel Novak and that he was also a freshman. “Hello, Dean,” he had answered.

“Look, I know I probably sound like a douche, but can we leave the get-to-know-each-other for tomorrow? I’m too tired,” he had said.

“No, it’s perfectly fine” Castiel had answered warmly “we could have breakfast tomorrow if you want.”

“Yeah, okay. Good night, man.”

The next day, Dean woke up only to find Castiel looking at him curiously. He didn’t say anything, because he didn’t want to make things weird, and because he wasn’t sure how to react about that.

They ended up in the university’s cafeteria, sharing a weird and uncomfortable silence that grew and grew. Until Castiel started talking. “So, my name is Castiel Novak, I’m here majoring in English and I want to be a writer, but that isn’t realistic so I’ll probably end up as an English teacher, but I’m not opposed to that so yeah.”

“That’s cool, man, I wasn’t good at English in high school but I like reading from time to time,” Dean said smiling, and then realized it was his turn to talk “my name is Dean Winchester, I want to be an engineer and I have no idea how will that turn as a job, actually. I hope it has something to deal with cars.”

“Cars?” His roommate asks, and he strangely seems interested in what Dean has to say.

“Yeah, man. My father is a mechanic, you know, he owns a garage with his best friend, and I used to work there in summer since I was fourteen, and when I turned sixteen, they hired me part-time. I grew to love working there,” he can’t stop the smile in his face remembering that.

“That sounds endearing,” the other boy smiled softly. “What are you doing here if you want to work there?”

“Basically my whole family scolded me when I said I wanted to be a mechanic,” Dean rolls his eyes. “They said that it wasn’t an assured job. Dad and Bobby made me come here just so I had a plan B. I know it sounds like the smart thing to do, but it’s a waste of money, really.”

“If they sent you here maybe they were right. You know what they say, experience is the best teacher. Maybe they regret not going to university and they don’t want you to make the same mistakes.”

Dean nodded. He already knew that. Hell, Bobby and dad had told him themselves. That didn’t make him less grumpy about it all.

“I guess.”

“You’re lucky your family cares that much,” Castiel said with a sight. Dean looked up with a frown just to see Castiel looking at the table blankly. “I’ve been living with my uncle since I was thirteen when I told my parents I was gay. I mean, I was the black sheep of the family, and I am surely happier now that I am away, but you know, family is family.”

“Man, that’s fucked up,” Dean had said, completely horrified at what Castiel’s family had done.

“You don’t care that I am gay, do you?” he had asked Dean after a couple of seconds.

Dean didn’t even blink before answering sure of himself. “Not at all, man. You date and bang whoever you want. It’s none of my business and it shouldn’t be anyone’s actually. Well, I guess your partner’s maybe.”

At that, Castiel had laughed, and their friendship had started.

It wasn’t after two months into their friendship that Dean had actually seen Castiel with someone. With a dude. He was supposed to be at the library doing a group project with a hot girl named Lisa Braeden, but he had forgotten his calculator so he had gone to his room to take it. He hadn’t been expecting to find another guy in the room, actually on Castiel’s bed, on top of him, with his hand in the other boy’s pants and with his lips at Cas’.

But, above all, he hadn’t expected the weird feeling on the pit of his stomach at seeing this.

The pair looked up at Dean when he opened the door, and for a moment, the guy on top of Castiel didn’t even remove the hand from his pants. Castiel had actually to bat his hand away. And that made Dean even more uncomfortable.

“Oh-uh, sorry. I just came for my calculator.”

He almost run to his desk and found his calculator there, just where he had left it so he didn’t forget it. He damned his self and got out of there before Castiel could talk.

While working on the project, he hadn’t been able to focus on either Lisa or the project. When he had gone to the library, he had expected to get laid when they finished, but he found himself not wanting to after what he had seen in his room.

When he arrived to the damn place, he didn’t find Castiel there. Actually, the boy came almost at midnight, and Dean was only up because he was finishing an essay. The air around them suddenly turned weird and Dean was scared because he didn’t want to lose Cas as a friend and he definitely didn’t want to live in this uncomfortable aura.

“Look, man, I’m so sorry I walked on you guys,” he said.

Castiel nodded. “You had a weird face,” he mumbled quietly. “I was kind of scare that you hated me now.”

Dean then noticed how Castiel’s eyes were red. He felt horrible.

“Not at all, Cas. You’re my friend, and I haven’t changed my opinion from when we met, who you date or bang is your business. I was just surprised. And embarrassed.”

“Oh yeah, you tell me about embarrassment,” Castiel snorted.

“So… That guy. Is he your boyfriend?” Dean asked half teasing half interested.

“Balthazar? God, no,” Cas laughed. “Did you see him? He didn’t stop touching me even when you where there. I wouldn’t date someone like that.”

Dean laughed, even if the mention of Balthazar touching Cas’ dick made him uncomfortable. “What’s the deal then? You’re fuck buddies?”

That sounded _hella weird_ in Dean’s head.

“You could say that, yeah,” Castiel said shrugging. He sat in his bed and fixed his eyes on Dean. “What about you? How was your _group project_ with Lisa Braeden? Did you guys hide in the janitor’s closet?” he asked with a teasing joke.

Dean groaned at the mention of that. “No, man, that Balthazar guy drowned my libido in acid.” Just as he said it, he wondered if that was somewhat homophobic, but as Castiel’s answer was a laugh, he decided to ignore it.

Since that day, Dean seemed to notice that Balthazar guy a whole lot of times, and he didn’t like that. Every time he saw him, Dean couldn’t help but think about him and Cas and that wasn’t pleasant at all.

It was after the eighth time he had walked into Cas and another boy (three of those times, the other boys had been Balthazar) that he called his brother. The kid was sixteen but he was one of the smartest people Dean knew.

“Dean!” had been Sammy’s excited answer.

“Hey, Sammy,” he mumbled, and it was probably his strained voice that made Sam realize something was wrong as he asked if he was alright. Dean could only sigh. “I don’t know, man. You know Cas, I told you about him. Well, he’s gay. Now that I realize, I never told you that and it is as fucked up as this whole situation.”

“Dean, you aren’t making any sense. What happens?”

“Do you think I am a homophobe?” he finally asked.

“No.” Sam didn’t take the time to think about it before answering. “What happens, Dean?”

“Cas is gay and every time I see him kissing another guy I feel so uncomfortable, Sammy, I just want to yell at them to stop. It’s like I think something is wrong and I don’t want to be this guy, Sam, I hate it.”

“Dude, there’s no way you are a homophobe. One of you best friends is a lesbian,” his brother reminds him.

“That’s different.”

“How?”

“I’ve never seen Charlie kiss anyone! I didn’t have a problem with Cas liking dudes until I saw him making out with one. A dick, by the way. I don’t have a problem with him, I have a problem with him being with men.”

“If you were a homophobe, you’d hate Cas. You’d be disgusted with just his presence. And you are not.”

“How do you know that?”

“You’ve been living with the guy for what? Six months?”

The call with Sam didn’t help him, and whenever he saw Castiel talking to another man, standing too close or laughing together, he felt an uncomfortable feeling in his stomach.

It was at the end of the year that Castiel and he talked about it.

“You’ve been acting really weird. I know you say you don’t have any problem with me being gay, Dean, but I do not wish to have you as a friend if you can’t stand the sight of me and another man together. I’m sorry.”

After those words, Castiel stalked away, and Dean was left there to frown. “I’ll text you!”

He probably wouldn’t, and they both knew it.

In summer, he told Charlie about what was happening. He was afraid of how would it affect their friendship, but his friend just smiled and shook his head. “There is no way in hell that you, Dean Winchester, are a homophobe.”

He looked at her in defeat. “I might be, Char.”

That made her laugh. “I’m going to try something, okay?”

He nodded and then he found himself staring at her friend while she made out with another girl. He felt a little bit uncomfortable with this, but it was nowhere near how he felt watching Castiel with another guy, it was more like he felt left out.

After almost five minutes of intense make out, Charlie looked at Dean expectantly. “You did that make you feel?” she asked with an eyebrow raised.

“Like the third wheel.”

“See? Homophobes don’t feel left out, they feel jealous because they want gay people to be as dull as they are,” Charlie smiled.

“As a straight, dull guy, I’ll say _ouch_ ,” he joked.

“You, see, Dean, I’m not so sure that you are straight. You’re dull, sure, but straight? I don’t know.”

That made him frown. “What the hell, Charlie?”

“Think about it, okay?”

And he did think about it. The more thought he gave it, the more he realized that Charlie might be right about it. Dean had to change Castiel for a woman to realize that it, indeed, sounded as if he was jealous.

The last day of summer vacation, he texted Castiel for the first time that summer, and the message said _I know what was wrong and I have to talk to you as soon as we see each other._

He didn’t receive an answer, but he knew Castiel had read it, and Dean was stubborn as hell so he would make the other boy talk with him he liked or not. Hopingly, he wouldn’t be too opposed to it.

The first thing he did when he arrived to university was go to his room, where Castiel should be. However, the lack of things in it told him he hadn’t arrived yet. He waited three hours there without moving, and when he heard the door opening, he stood up quickly.

He saw Castiel and something in his chest lifted. “I need to talk to you.”

“You aren’t going to be talking with anyone,” an unknown voice said. Dean saw a short man walking into the room from the corridor, placing himself protectingly in front of Castiel.

Dean was about to say something probably rude when Castiel talked. “It’s alright, Gabe,” his voice was small and Dean hated himself for it. “I’ll be alright.”

The other guy looked at Castiel unsurely but then he nodded and walked out of the room. The silence was weird and uncomfortable, and again, Dean couldn’t help but blame himself for it.

"Is that your boyfriend?” Dean asked, and it came out more rude than he had intended at first.

“He’s my cousin,” Castiel mumbled.

After that, the uncomfortable silence fell again.

“I’m sorry about last year,” they both said at the same time.

Dean looked at Cas frowning. “What? What are you sorry for? You didn’t do anything wrong.”

“I knew you weren’t comfortable with me bringing men here and I did it anyways,” Cas said, “I’m sorry for that.”

“No, man. I am sorry. You didn’t do anything wrong, it was me,” he said exasperatedly. “You’re right, I wasn’t comfortable seeing you with other man, and I first thought it was because I was homophobic but I am not!”

“You made that impression to me,” again, Castiel’s voice is soft and kind of weak.

“I swear I’m not. My best friend, Charlie, is a lesbian and she told me that what I felt wasn’t hate or disgust or anything that homophobes feel when seeing same sex couples,” Dean tried to explain.

“I don’t understand then…” Castiel sighed.

“I was _jealous_ , Cas. Because I liked you,” Dean confesses.

“You liked me?” the other boy asks confused.

“Well, I did. I do, actually. This is all new to me. I’ve never felt like this for another dude, that’s why I didn’t know what was happening, and I’m so sorry for what my stupidness made you feel, Cas.”

“You’re not stupid, Dean,” Cas whispered.

“Sure,” Dean snorted.

“No, really, Dean, that doesn’t make you stupid. I am so glad that you don’t hate me. I’ve been the whole summer worrying about it. You are such a good man, I didn’t want you out of my life.”

“I’m sorry, Cas” Dean said again, looking down.

“I kind of liked you too, you know? When we started being friends. But then you were straight and you were going to have sex with Lisa… I don’t know, I just wanted to get back to you in a way, that’s why I was with Balthazar. We weren’t really fuck buddies by then. When I saw how you reacted when I was with him, or with any other boy, and I convinced myself that I couldn’t feel anything for you because you were going to be disgusted and you were going to hate me even more and…” Castiel sighed.

Dean wanted to bang his head in a wall for how stupid he’d been. “Again, I am so sorry. I know it’s not enough, but I don’t know what else to say. If you’re uncomfortable with me here – and you sure have reasons why – I’ll find another place to stay or…”

“I don’t want you to go anywhere, Dean” Castiel said, this time his tone was almost normal. “Like I said, I felt something for you until I forced myself otherwise. And if what you tell me about liking me is true, maybe we can find a way of making it work.”

“But I don’t want to hurt you anymore,” Dean mumbled, looking at the blue eyes of his roommate.

“I don’t think you will, Dean. We can go slowly so we’re both sure this is what we want and-” Dean interrupted Castiel kissing him, soft and short, however, he was surprised to find how much he liked it. “I think it’s too early for that,” Cas said frowning.

Dean blushed, swearing internally. “Yes, of course. I’m so sorry-“

“However, we can have breakfast together tomorrow and call it a date.”

Dean smiled and nodded, remembering the first time they had engaged a real conversation.

It was almost five months later that Dean was sure that he wouldn’t hurt Castiel as much as he had the year before and he had the courage to ask Castiel officially. He had of course said yes, having assured himself that Dean was really into him after the second month.


End file.
